who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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