I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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