just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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