i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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