TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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