Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
