there was a trapeze. enough said
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
