May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
