I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
