the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
