I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he just fucked me for my cheese..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
