ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
