I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need water and some morals
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
