She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
