do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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