I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
