I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
