It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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