at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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