I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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