Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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