im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
