sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
