He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
