all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
