I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
