I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
