Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
