no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
