how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
