i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
