i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
