I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
