physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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