I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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