btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
