how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
