I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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