marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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