yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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