I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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