i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
