They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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