We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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