chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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