We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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