i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
