would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dick has a subreddit
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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