i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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