Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
