I faked an abortion last night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
