I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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