he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
