Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm really busy with my period
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