I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm at about main and main street
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
