He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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