oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just had sex on a roof
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
