I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My sheets look like a crime scene.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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